LGBTQI & Gender Therapy/Counseling:                             (Now offering Telemental Health - video or phone)

Just as gay clients may seek therapy to work on discovering and becoming clear with themselves as to their sexual orientation; transgender folks may also need an objective person to help them answer questions and affirm their correct gender. And true to a full spectrum of possibilities, there are those who are dual-gendered (have full access to both masculine and feminine traits), and others who identify as gender-queer (neither want nor need to identify as either/or). Not everyone has a clear sense of identity from an early age; some folks struggle with identity issues well into adulthood before finding where they are most comfortable. The next question becomes how to reconcile that knowledge into one’s life (live authentically) and, of course, whether and how to “come out” to family, friends, etc. Struggles with coming out can be huge and can last long after the news is delivered to the people in your life. For example, some family members never quite accept you, which may result in you not fully accepting yourself. 

Adjusting to a different identification can challenge all areas of your life. Self acceptance is something many people struggle with, especially when you belong to a group who is pre-judged and discriminated against by the larger culture. The transitioning process for transgenders can take years and can threaten everything and everyone in your life. Not transitioning, at worst, can in fact threaten your life, and at least limits your ability to be happy. It is advisable to have quality assistance in navigating the painful, difficult, emotional, confusing and potentially terrifying transition journey. And then, of course, LGBTQI folks struggle with all the same issues that others do; for example, relationships, roles, communication, major life decisions, conflict resolution, and overall self improvement.

Questioning is a state that ranges from confusion to uncertainty to ambiguity, before a person comes to a point where they can state with confidence what their truth is and their intentions as to whether to transition and, in their specific case, what that might look like. There are many options that are legitimate in the quest for honesty and congruity in one’s relationships and life choices. For example, living dual-gendered, part time, full time, ambiguous, taking the long road or the short road, subtle or blunt. What is important is that, whatever choices you make or path you choose, you do so with respect and consideration of the people in your life. What you do can affect them in ways that you may not have even considered.

Cross-dressing as a verb/behavior is something that most trans people experiment with until, if and when, they choose to transition. Cross-dresser, as a noun, generally refers to a distinct group who, in the true sense of the word, do not consider themselves part of the transgender community. These are people who are content in their life roles as the biological gender they were born with, and they have a side of their life that is devoted to dressing and living part-time and only in certain settings in the opposite gender.

There is so much more to say on subjects like guilt, shame, “selfishness”, authenticity, faith, beliefs, values, “lifestyle”, “brain sex”, choices, losses, acceptance, anger, hurt, honesty, trust, truth, lies, omissions/commissions, friends, support system, “chosen family”, advocating/educating, disarming, dignity, change, denial, suicide, right vs. wrong, morals…

Transitioning is a process which involves so many tough choices, decisions and consequences. It affects every aspect of an individual’s life, including family, home, friends, neighbors, work/career, livelihood, legal considerations, social life, faith/church and community, and reputation/social status. I can help you through it as I have others.

Group:
I have a FREE support group that meets once a week in my offices. Many of my clients can’t say enough about how the group has helped them, and it is a way to meet other folks with similar issues and not feel so alone, to gain confidence, to acquire information and resources, and to have at least one place where you can go dressed in your correct gender without fear, and to know that you will not be judged or mistreated. For further info, please see this page: North Fulton Trans* Support Group.

My Qualifications as a Gender Therapist:

  • I believe my attitude and belief system are big qualifiers for me as an effective therapist.
  • Above all is my experience working with gay, lesbian and transgender clients in the years I’ve been practicing psychotherapy.
  • I have had some specialized training and continue to seek it out. In addition, I read books and look for other media that are available on the subject.
  • I am a member of WPATH (World Professional Association for Transgender Health) and follow their guidelines and Standards of Care. Caution: Do not assume you cannot transition based on these guidelines. They are not law. With the help of a therapist like me, we can figure out how to help you become your true self.
  • If anyone cares, I myself happen to be heterosexual, happily married 20 years. I don’t believe a person’s sexual orientation has a flip to do with what kind of person they are ethically, morally, or in any other way. It is simply one of the many variations in the tapestry of human diversity that makes people so dang interesting. Yes, I am a kindred spirit and strong advocate.

“Gender Team”:
This term is used in the WPATH standards of care. It refers to a team of professionals who work with transgender individuals to help them through transitioning. A gender team would ideally be comprised of, at a minimum, a therapist, an endocrinologist and a GRS surgeon. Other professionals might include service providers (i.e. hair removal) and consultants. I am in the process of becoming part of such a “team” in the Metro Atlanta area. I am getting to know other colleagues in this area and I’m confident that a more organized approach to providing services will develop, in which we can refer to one another, educate and encourage each other, in order to meet best practices in our specialties.

Letters:
If all you want is a letter, then you might find a therapist who will simply write you a letter; but that would not be a gender therapist, and that would certainly not be me. Do not view me with contempt. I do not see myself as a “gate keeper” or as having power over you. You have plenty of power, I am just here to help. My role with you is to be an advocate, supporter, confidante and guide. As a professional therapist and expert in helping people navigate difficult and complicated life transitions, I do not take this job lightly, nor do I exaggerate my importance. Yes, of course it is YOUR life, and I may be your strongest advocate in helping you get through the hoops of making your life right. I consider it an honor to be able to help people in this way. I am not here to get in your way, but to help you make your way in overcoming obstacles and taking the steps to authenticate your journey, in the most responsible way, with the least amount of harm to others.

I am qualified and competent to provide you with letters for hormone therapy and surgeries that will meet WPATH standards. I have done many. My job is to evaluate your mental health status to verify that this is an informed decision that considers all ramifications. I am also here to determine if there are mental health issues that need addressing and to advise you in that regard. If you want to work on those issues, and I am qualified and willing to help you do so, then we can do that. If not, I will refer you to someone who would best match your needs.

Resources

I believe that you all – the “brothers and sisters” of the TG community – are the true experts. However, in my role I have come across a wealth of information regarding other providers in the community, from therapists to endocrinologists to surgeons. I also can direct you to other support groups, advocacy groups, online resources, and various retailers who are trans-friendly (such as wig sellers and stylists, laser hair removal, electrologists, voice training and the like)